Zut!

Buoyed by positivity, lubricated by spirit (of the Alberta rye variety) and ready to go, it didn't go quite as well for me as I had hoped as the Calgary Flames were trounced by the Detroit Red Wings, 4-1 in round 1, game 1 action.

As any observer could tell you, it could have been plenty worse had it not been for the heroics of Miikka Kiprusoff, who stopped 42 off 46 shots, sometimes in spectacular fashion. 180 feet down ice, Dominik Hasek was good as he had to be -- but not much better -- as he faced only 20 shots his own way.

But let's not kid ourselves; the goaltenders were not the story -- the complete domination of the once-proud franchise known as the Flames is. Detroit outskated, outshot, outhit and outperformed the Cowtown Flarin' Horse Head Nostrils so completely, one might have been excused for thinking Darryl Sutter sent the Calgary Flames Midget 'AA' squad in their stead. Pavel Datsyuk (who will be henceforth known at "Gadzooks") was incredible in all areas of the ice, while the rest of the team followed his leadership and performed above and beyond expectations. They were awesome.

As for their opposition, aside from the occasional shots on goal -- which were most likely unintentional -- there was no reason to suspect that the men with the Flaming C in their chests could be considered anything near professional athletes.

A side-bar to the match was the gad-awful officiating. Once again, your friend and mine, Mick Magoo (he prefers "Michael") was a dreadful-looking sight throughout the game, making call after terrible call while trying to keep his helmet fastened securely to that gargantuan, thick-framed melon which someone, somewhere must call a head.

I just don't mean he was just bad for the Flames (though they got more than their fair share of ridiculous penalties), but he and his partner, who must have been infected by the contagious stupidity abounding in the officials' locker room, did everything in their power to confuse the players and disrupt the flow of their game with their inconsistent, asinine calls. It was nothing to start a fund-raiser over or anything, but the man ought to be taken out to the back and whipped until he comes up with some sort of reasonable explanation as to why he continues to be such a goddamn idiot. He could be set up at the whipping post next to the one holding the dipshit who hired him.

Game 2 will be played at 1 pm, local time, this Sunday at Joe Louis Arena. I only mention that because I hope someone from the Flames organization reads this and actually remembers to get the team to the rink this time.

Maybe it was the bus driver's fault ...