Grudge Match

It's Lubelly vs. Phoff in a winner-takes-Acadia stankoff. The good money's on Phoff, as he's the Sabres. Lubelly is, once again, Detroy-hut, as Ron Wilson would say.

9:37
Live from Buffalo? No wonder it smells like giant ass. Maybe that's the leftover pizzza.

9:38
Real men don't hit posts.

Screw the timekeeping.

Nice block by Phoff. He had a rep in Shediac for co*k blocking, true story.

Holstrom scores! We're all pissed because the goal interrupted Jim Hughson's brilliant AI play-by-play.

Lubelly forgets which team he's on, is overjoyed by the crappy penalty he just took. Celebrates by passing to no one. Lubelly is the Leafs, in spirit if not uniform.

Screw Phoff and his stupid multisyllabic players. Afinoganov will now be known as fart. Fart is really stinking up the joint

Hecht scores! Darcy Tucker shits himself a little.

Phoff gives it away. He had a rep for giving it away too in Shediac. Lubelly informs us that Chelios is a dominatrix. No doubt.

Question: if your team is called the Sabres, why is your logo a Buffalo? What the hell is a red wing anyway, and what does it have to do with my new set of Michelins?

Lubelly clues in to his team and is now pissed about his crappy holding call. Another chance for Phoff to bury one between Lubelly's pipes. And he does!

Mazel tov! Briere scores like Ed Belfour on Ste Catherine near Hotel de Ville.

Phoff seems to have a guy named Felcher on his team. Interesting. After one, Phoff has the shots but Lubelly is dominating physically, as he is prone to do.

We get an all-important stat update. There have been no empty net goals after one.

Legace lets in a Dule the Dumpster Droese special. Talk about garbabe goals. Phoff'll take it, though.

Lang puts Lubelly on the board - it's 3-2.

Phoff answers back with another score. Lubelly is earning his nickname tonight.

Phoff's team calls a mutiny and lets Lang take the ice all to himself; he promptly buries it, top shelf (contradictory, you say?). Now Shanny is going off, again, for elbowing. He's dirtier than my ass after soccer.

Phoff hits the post and Lubelly answers back with an end to end rush. He's played a hard-working, blue collar game tonight.

Afina whatever scores! Why is the after-goal music so lame? Did Phoff pick it? 5-3 Sabres or Buffalos or whatever. Oops. 5-4. Lubelly gets to a rebound and spanks it like Phoff on viagra.

Why does Phoff insist on playing while sitting in a bucket of ice? And why is Lubelly shirtless? Briere goes off for holding. This so not MY NHL. Carbo rejects a call. Hmm... Phoff scores HUGE shorthanded. The bucket is overturned. Ice is everywhere. He's running around with his hand on his stick, you know what I'm saying? 6-4.

And Lang grabs his hat trick. Doin' the Jiggy-Joo. And Lubelly's pants come off. It's a one goal game as we head to the third.

After two Lubelly leads in the all important passing percentage category. Can he pull off the queen of all come from behinds? My money is on Oh Yeah.

Schneider "gobbles up" the puck. Hughson is such a racist.

Zetterberg ties it up! Lubelly tears them down (his thong underwear)!

Huge save by Legace on Grier. Legace stops a 120 foot shot. He is on FIRE. Phoff is offside. I've been saying that for years.

Crossbar! Lubelly asks if I blogged that post. Phoff responds to that ass comment by opening up a can of tomato juice (literally) and putting in the go-ahead goal.

Lidstrom has "done dick this game" says Lubelly. In true fashion, he watches as JP Dumont adds an insurance marker. Glory comes to Buffalo. It then leaves.

Last minute of play... and Lubelly ICES THE PUCK. Worst play ever.

Phoff is taking it easy and Lubelly can't make it happen. The Sabres are gonna take this one. But first, Phoff scores with four seconds left. Jerk. Three-goal win. Hughson says it sealed the deal. Seal this, bitch!