Puck off, Bettman

Forgive our Acadian contributor for not seeing the forest for the trees in our inaugural post. Yes, the new NHL is exponentially better than anything we've seen, well, since the Great Montreal Canadiens took four of five from Wayne Gretzky's Princes (or whatever those guys were supposed to be) in '93. I don't know about extending the sacred Tip of the Hat to Gary Bettman, who managed to cap a decade of shitty hockey with a (second) lockout, only to have his cred restored by Brendan Shanahan & co.

Maybe it's true that no Gary means no 100 point scorers in '06, no Marek Malik awesome shootout goals and no goalie-get-back-to-your-cage penalties. It also means no insanely high ticket prices, no teams in Atlanta and Nashville (but some in Winnipeg and Quebec City, perhaps). It means no years of awaiting salvation in the form of the U.S. TV deal that's oh-so-close. Please. The OLN? Whatever, Bettman.

The NHL has never been the next NBA and it never will be (all those whiter than white hockey dads can tell themselves that, like black American teenagers, they determine what constitutes hip culture until Rosie the Cow comes home from the Regina debutantes ball). When was the last time the NBA had a work stoppage?

That Bettman finally got around to taking some concrete steps to make the game better (enforce the rules! Brilliant freaking idea) should underscore his impotence, not signal his renewal.